Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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