pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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