i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He kissed a someone with a penis
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
