i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
