there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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