i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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