Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
