2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
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