Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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