I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
