I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
