I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
