just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
