Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
