Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
