The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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