So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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