I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
