I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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