Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
