My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
