One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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