Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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