Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
tell me about the fingering
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