I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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