so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
where am i from again
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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