I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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