The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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