believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
