If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just want to make out with him forever
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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