Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Randomize
