oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
