I'm going to rape someone's good day.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
