If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
