VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
