What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
