Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize