hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
