I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
