just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize