Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
