I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
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We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
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Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize