All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
