There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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