How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
