Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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