He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
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you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
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I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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