how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
