what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
