life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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