Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
