Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
