Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
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