I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
