i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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