Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
