Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
