I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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